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You don’t need to “improve” yourself to deepen your energy reserves.

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This is the final installment of our exploration of different forms of energy and ways to balance our exhales with inhales so the ecosystems of our lives remain sustainable. Today I cover the most important thing you need to do to put your ideas into action.

The series so far…


You don’t need to “improve” yourself to deepen your energy reserves.

 

If you’ve been doing your homework throughout this series, you’ve likely come up with a variety of ways you could increase your energy.

While there are a number of things that go into a successful plan, project or change in behavior, here’s the most essential thing you need to do to put your ideas into action – and create a habit you will stick with over the long term.

• • • • •

Any time you craft a system to support a new plan, project or habit, you always start by answering the question of why. Since both building a system and carrying it out will take time and energy, it’s important to begin feeling sure you have good reasons for doing it.

But those reasons – as sensible, inspiring and motivating as they may be – likely won’t be enough to fuel taking everyday action on that plan/project/habit, especially when you are tired, not in the mood, feel too busy or are just plain having a bad day.

What will get you to take consistent action is engagement.

If you can find a way to make the process – the actual doing, not just the outcome – engaging and enjoyable, you’re golden.

So, how do you discover engagement?

  • First, subtract or minimize what will be met with resistance and require willpower to overcome.
  • Then add or amplify what will be naturally attractive, compelling or stimulating.

Energy Out/Energy In

It may seem odd or redundant to ask yourself energy questions about what you want to do to manage your energy, but whatever action you want to take is a system that has its own energy needs. You still need to make sure there is a positive balance between incoming and outgoing energy, otherwise the system won’t be sustainable.

To find that positive balance, start by dividing a sheet of paper (real or digital) into two columns. Label one column with a minus sign and the other with a plus sign.

Under the “minus” column, list the ways the action you want to take will or could be…

  • physically draining,
  • mentally draining,
  • emotionally draining,
  • spiritually draining,
  • and/or financially draining.

Under the “plus” column, list the ways the action you want to take will or could contribute to your…

  • physical energy,
  • mental energy,
  • emotional energy,
  • spiritual energy,
  • and or financial energy.

Now here’s the tricky part. You need to eliminate the drains and amplify the energy without trying to “fix” or “improve” yourself.

Allow me to illustrate.

Hydration is one thing that helps me to maintain reserves of physical energy. However, downing the requisite number of glasses of water each day is not something that comes easily or naturally. It’s an intention that requires the support of several interventions.

While drinking water is not physically, emotionally, spiritually or financially draining – remembering to do it and keeping tracking of how much I’ve consumed is a drag on my cognitive resources.

So to eliminate that drain…

  • I incorporated filling and drinking the first glass of the day into my already well-established morning coffee routine.
  • When I fill that first glass, I put rubber bands around it equal to the number of glasses I need to drink – one comes off each time I empty a glass – which gives me a great visual of my progress.
  • And I set up friendly reminders to drink water that pop-up every two hours on various digital devices.

That helped. A lot. But it still took too much brain power. I found I was filling but not drinking that first glass. And soon I was ignoring the digital prompts. What to do?

I tried incorporating ritual into the routine, but amplifying my spiritual energy didn’t make it engaging. So I aimed for my emotional energy instead and asked: What would make this more fun? Hmm, a straw, I thought. A straw would make this more fun with its childhood associations of a special treat.

I would have gone for a silly straw if it didn’t seem impossible to keep clean, but in the end such an extreme wasn’t necessary. Ordinary straws did the trick beautifully.

But not for the reason I started using them. Using a straw didn’t make drinking water more fun, it made it possible to drink water without stopping or looking away from what I was doing.

That’s what was preventing the habit from being formed: unwanted interruption.

Hidden inside the consciously chosen intention to drink more water, was the not-so-consciously chosen intention to take a break every two hours. This is how my thinking went: Since I need to empty a glass about every two hours to stay consistent hydrated and finish the requisite daily amount early enough in the evening that I don’t have to get up to pee in the middle of the night, drinking a glass of water will be a great way to make sure I take a break every two hours. Yay!

That sounds good on the surface, right? It sounds like a synergistic win-win. But I was only crafting a hydration system, not a pausing system. I hadn’t thought through or experimented with ways to encourage myself to take breaks. I just thoughtlessly threw the two things together.

When my hydration system had two jobs – to get me to do the thing I wanted to do (drink more water) along with the thing I should do (take more breaks) – not surprisingly, it failed.

That’s the lesson: don’t try to use one habit to leverage another behavior. Craft the two systems separately, then integrate them if possible. If they are synergistic, wonderful! But don’t give your systems extra jobs they weren’t designed to handle.

( And the really hilarious thing? I didn’t need to worry about taking breaks in the first place. If you’re drinking a pint of water every two hours, you need to pee. Often. The reminder to step away from your desk comes not from a computer, but an insistent bladder. No scheduling required. Automagicness! )

• • • • •

Here’s another example from my more recent experience.

I’ve recently committed to moving my body more often. Because when I get enough exercise…

  • I sleep better.
  • It reduces my stress and anxiety.
  • And when I’m less stressed and well rested I can think more clearly.
  • When I’m rested and thinking clearly, I’m much more productive.
  • It’s great way to transform my afternoon slump into productive time and deal with sluggishness without afternoon caffeine – or occasional anxiety without evening alcohol – both of which also help me to sleep better.
  • It usually gets me outdoors and into nature, which is important to my spiritual energy.
  • It helps me to feel warmer during the winter.
  • It changes my relationship with food for the better.
  • When I feel physically stronger, I feel more capable and resilient in other areas of my life.
  • Even without any changes to my shape or weight, it improves my body image and makes it much easier to age with some semblance of grace.
  • And (according to my doctor and conventional wisdom anyway), barring accident or injury, it likely will lower my health care problems, and costs, over the long term.

Clearly there’s a lot to love about moving my body. Exercise improves my energy on multiple levels. And that’s motivating. But I know from experience those reasons aren’t enough to get me off my butt and moving on a regular basis, especially when I’m tired, not in the mood, feel too busy – or even when I’m in flow and a creative roll.

So what would be so attractive and stimulating, I’d feel compelled to exercise? Not just the path of least resistance, but the path of enthusiasm? Hmmm…

Once again, the drains weren’t what was getting in the way.

  • Exercise is one of those weird things that requires physical energy, yet leaves you physically energized. So no real drain there.
  • Spiritually draining? Nope.
  • Financially draining? I could spend a small fortune on fitness, but I highly doubted that kind of investment would be necessary…
  • Emotionally draining? Possibly. Being in group classes or gyms where I’m surrounded by that “fitness” vibe/aesthetic that I so loathe and where it’s easy for me to slip into negative comparisons and self-judgement have the potential to be emotionally draining, but that’s easily avoided.
  • Mentally draining? Potentially. Without a clear understanding about what to do when, or if my clothing and equipment isn’t ready and organized, then exercise takes too much memory and decision-making energy. And if my chosen form of movement is boring, doing it takes huge amounts of willpower.

Boredom. Bingo. Once again, it came down to the question: What would make this more fun?

In the same way I incorporated drinking water into my morning coffee routine, I first tossed around ideas about how I could link movement to another well-established habit and my favorite form of recreation: playing digital games.

And what first emerged from my brainstorming was some sort of trade-off. A certain number of steps walked or time on the elliptical could be exchanged for a corresponding amount of game time on my tablet.

Ick. I knew that sort of carrot/stick approach wouldn’t work. Instead of being compelling, it would require even more willpower and discipline – and I simply wouldn’t stick to my own rules.

Plus, it felt punitive. OMG. I was doing the same thing I had done with the straw! I was using my emerging system for movement to address the related but distinctly separate problem of keeping my gaming in proportion. Thanks to Jane McGonigal’s fascinating book Reality Is Broken , I know gaming is not a waste of time. Yet on some level I still judge myself negatively for it. So it was easy to slip into “fixing” mode, especially given that gaming is one of my most sedentary activities.

Then it dawned on me I could have my cake and eat it too. I didn’t need to give up games, just balance active games with sedentary games. I wondered if I was the sort of person who might love a Wii Fit? I did a little research and started to pursue buying one until I realized I was doing it again! I was fixing myself. It wasn’t the $400 price tag that was holding me back (although, ouch). It was trying to convince myself that game elements would be enough to get me past what was still a virtual gym built around the fitness aesthetic I’ve hated since I was a teenager. That it should be enough to make me okay with it. That I should be okay with it. That I’d have to be okay with it to be healthy. I mean, it’s so pervasive because that’s just the way it has to be done. So why not forget the Wii and just join a class? What’s so bad about lycra and going for the burn anyway? At least it would get you out of the house and allow you to socialize more. People are nice. You should make new friends. And you should be able to walk into a gym or studio without feeling self-conscious. I mean, you should really work on that. This would be a great way to work on that comparison thing…

Barf.O.Rama.

Can you see how one little system for one little goal – move more often – rapidly turned into a massive self-improvement project in the blink of a thought? Did you notice how I started to use a positive intention to both punish myself for and attempt to correct my perceived shortcomings? Did you spot how I was adding rather than removing points of resistance? Can you see how quickly I started asking that one little system to do too many jobs, most of them unnecessary?

There was no reason I had to do or be okay with any of that. There had to be an alternative.

Given the prevalence and popularity of games, game-theory and gamification, surely someone had designed other fitness games? Not playground games, but games like the ones I can happily spend hours playing. Surely, as the saying goes, there had to be an app for that…

And there is. Quite a few, in fact. And the fitness game on everyone’s best top five list? Zombies, Run! It looked very promising.

I bought the 5k training program and dove into the first… workout? level? chapter? (I don’t know what to call it.) It far exceeded my expectations. It was so. much. fun. And I say that as someone who loathes running even more than I loathe gyms. It was exactly what I was looking for: a process as enjoyable as its results.

I’m hooked. I’m hooked because I’m engaged. And because I’m engaged I haven’t missed a workout since that first. Zero willpower required. In fact, I’ve found myself putting off other things so I can get out for another training session. It’s unprecedented.

Now, this isn’t a testimonial for Zombies, Run! What I mean is: that specific game is not the point. The point is I would not have discovered it if I had not recognized and rejected my attempts to fix, correct and otherwise improve myself in order to get some exercise.

• • • • •

From a time management perspective, trying to make yourself be someone you’re not or like what you do not like is extremely inefficient and ineffective. From an energy management perspective, there is nothing more draining than trying to fix yourself. Any effort that requires you to “suck it up” in some way is going to suck the life right out of you. Right before it fails miserably.

You do not have to improve yourself yourself to feel better. There is nothing about you that needs fixing or correction for you to make changes that will increase your energy.

As you put your ideas into action, allow yourself to like what you like and dislike what you don’t like. Follow your intuition. If your gut says ew, don’t do it.

Don’t ask your energy systems to do anything more than the essential jobs they were designed to do. Listen for the shoulds. Avoid sticks and carrots.

Embrace your personal aesthetic. (I’m being guided through essentially the same training as the popular Couch to 5K program – a program I would never try, let alone stick with, because the aesthetic is all wrong for me. Similarly, I dig Pilates, but the vibe of the average yoga studio makes me roll my eyes through every pose. Not my style.)

Be creative. Be true to yourself. Be willing to break rules and conventions and make the unpopular choice. Experiment, but don’t compromise, negotiate or settle. Be tenacious in finding the solution that’s right for you.

Seek out what will require the least amount of willpower. Follow the path of least resistance until it leads you to the road of enthusiasm.

Then watch a successful habit emerge. And your energy rise.


 

foundations-sidebar

Of course, embracing this sort of radical self-acceptance while seeking out ways to make all your everyday activities engaging is a big part of the Foundations program.

The winter term begins next week! Monday, January 19.

Click here to put your energy ideas into action and start building your reserves (and so much more).

Because good time management comes down to good energy management.

 


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